on a more serious note...

Memories come to me at the strangest of times... Tonight we were sitting around the table with a CD playing in the background that was basically america´s top hits of the 80´s played on flutes. As I listened, a favorite: "take my breath away" from top gun comes on, my mind is flooded with memories of freshman year of college, our favorite minutes of the movie: the volleyball scene being one of them. All of the sudden I hear the word "tampax" and click into the conversation... the neighbors were telling vania's mom to stick a tampon in her ear to hear better... I´m so tired of the comparisons, and bashing america like it is the worst thing in the world, like brasil has no problems whatsoever, asking me questions about gays in the US, our night life, how much my friends or people I know do drugs, assuming so much about me (I don't like to go out, I want a brasilian boyfriend, I like to go to bed early... ). And with all of this talk, Caesar and his wife smoking cigarette after cigarette, my brain hitting a point where I can hardly think because of the smoke and alcohol being passed around the table, Jorge and Caesar talking about how messed up the world is, America especially... as they do during almost every meal, I realize how this is really all they have to talk about. I am with them when they spend time together generally, and its always the same, after two weeks I'm already bored of their talk, tired of them bashing america, tired of the cloud of smoke that follows them, tired of the other neighbor, Marisa, who only yells when she talks (hello! I'm right here! speak quieter!), I am beginning to want to just yell at the top of my lungs : THERE IS SO MUCH MORE! So much more than smoking, eating, and drinking. so much more than american politics, than stupid presidents, than the war in iraq. How about how you are doing, what about heart issues, what about things that are going on in our lives. Why don't we let the things that matter show the most? Its in times like this that I miss my church community so much because I feel that with my christian family is where real life happens... life away from Christ is just hours passing you by, waiting for the inevitable to happen. I've found more counsel in my bible in the past few days than I have in months and years past. Other books I brought with me (the chronicles of narnia, mere christianity) are becoming insignificant to the interest I have in reading His word... that is where I can find life, He is my source... I'm thankful for this time of darkness because it is now that I long for the light... and I think that, as more and more of my comforts are taken away, that longing is going to become greater every moment.